At dinner time, the TV was playing Disney's Peter Pan and when it came to the part where Wendy was singing to the Lost Boys about a mother's love, all my defenses broke down and I went into the kitchen to have a "good cry" (I wonder now, why they call it a "good" cry).
Ever since going missing, I think I saw Joanie thrice today. I was very sure it was her the first time in the morning, but the next two times, I'm not that sure. However, from her movements, I'm quite convinced that it was her.
I went out again just now, to look for her. I thought being nocturnal, she might come out at night. Throughout the day, in all the times that I saw her, she was inside the drain, never once on the road.
Maybe she wants to be in the "wild" again, and sleeping on a blanket inside a cage just isn't her cup of tea.
My daughter kept Suki company just now, and we brought down two soft toys for her. Now, she is fast asleep inside the big cage - Joanie's home ever since coming back from the hospital.
Tomorrow morning, I have to give a talk. This won't be the first time I'd have to put on a brave front for the audience and deliver a public talk again.
I wonder now, if Joanie is inside that drain (in that corner house), because I caught a glimpse of her using that route TWICE today. She would go along the big drain and turn right into this smaller drain (within the compound of the corner house). Maybe she has found herself a "home" there and is comfortable. I certainly hope so.
My friend from the Spore Community Cats advised me to think of Joanie having an exciting adventure now. He says worrying does not help and he is absolutely right.
So I should not pour my emotions out here - no use going there.
I figured the only way to console myself is to accept the fact that Joanie needed my help when her life was hanging by the thread and when she needed nursing care. Now that she is well enough, she has decided to return to her feral life, and I should be able to let her go.
Just as I'm writing this, Aunty Kiew text me to ask about Joanie. Call it good or bad timing, I don't know. I have not heard from Aunty Kiew for quite long now. So I told her what had happened.
Aunty Kiew merely said, "Oh, so naughty!" And she told me Joanie sometimes would disappear too, over in Old Klang Road. Then she said, "Ahh...she is a stray, that's the way they behave."
I guess Joanie enjoys the feral life. And Aunty Kiew said if I could catch Joanie, perhaps I should bring her back to Old Klang Road and let her have her old life again.
One day at a time, I suppose.
Be safe, Joanie, wherever you are now (I hope you are in that drain, safe and sound, and dry).