Wednesday, October 24, 2012

A shiny beige-coloured butterfly

Dear Friends,

I think this is the most difficult pet-death I've ever had to deal with. Perhaps it is the manner in which Bosco passed on, the cause of death or that I went through a roller-coaster of frantically searching for ways to help him. From one vet to another, hoping and hoping. One day it was poisoning, the next it was parvovirus, and it was back to poisoning. He got better, we were so hopeful, then he went down, then back up again, and the final blow came. It had been a mad roller-coaster ride. The worst was knowing that it was poisoning and yet not being able to do anything about it.

Or perhaps it is because he had only spent 27 days with me. He deserved more happiness. He definitely deserved more of everything, especially when he was someone who just wanted to please, serve and take care of me.

I don't want to ask those "why" questions. It is too painful and there will never be answers. It is always easier to accept death due to old age or disease, but when it happens suddenly, unexpected and tragically, it is so much harder. Asking those "why" questions will torture us even more because there will be no answers.

Last night, I came back and told Raven that Bosco would not be coming back anymore and that he is now in a much better place, free from earthly harm and danger. Of course I did not expect Raven to understand. She was happily prancing around, which was good.

I spent the night with my cats. Pole, Cow and Tiger slept with me on the bench. All three did not leave my side throughout the night until I woke up this morning. They know I am very, very heartbroken and they want to help too.

I can only console myself that I spent many happy hours with Bosco, made him feel wanted and gave him a sense of home and belonging and lots of love. And when his end came, I was with him all the way and I explored all possible avenues to try to save him. That would be my only consolation now.

Thank you, dear friends, for your very compassionate messages. It helps very much to know that Bosco's happy days and his brave journey were shared by so many and that he was not alone. You cheered him on, you rooted for him and towards the end, you sent prayers to wish him well. All the kindness that he has received will surely take him to a better place.

In memory of all our animal-friends who have fought the good fight and finished their race on earth, we must strive on to protect and help the rest as best we can.

As I finished writing this post, a small shiny beige-coloured butterfly flew around me and disappeared. Are there butterflies at 5.45am in the morning? Did I imagine it, or perhaps it is a sign from Bosco that all is well. I know when we find it difficult to accept the death of a beloved, our beloved one will send us a message of hope to tell us he or she is alright and we should not be so sad anymore.

Bosco just did that for me. His time on earth was meant to be a short one; he came, he did what he wanted to do and now, he's off to a happier and more beautiful realm.

The small butterfly flew pass me again, and this time, it flew up to the ceiling and disappeared. Then, another time again and this time, it flew around in circles on the ceiling, as though telling me, "Cheer up, I'm okay". Guess the butterfly had to come three times to assure me that I wasn't imagining it.

My spirits are finally lifted a little. Yes, it's a sign from Bosco. He's up there, watching over me.

P.S. Vixey did the same for me, 3 years ago. She sent me yellow butterflies and a golden dragonfly.

 Raven's Monge breakfast this morning.

 True to her name, she can really eat.

There is so much to do now - to train Raven to use the litter-box and to wait for her mange to heal (I still dare not resume the oil treatment because she hates it so much and would run away from me). Raven still needs two vaccination boosters, then she needs to be spayed. The vet said she is only 2 1/2 months old because she still has all her baby teeth and none have dropped yet. OR, she could be 6 months old if her teeth now are permanent ones. Since she came on 9th October, she has doubled in size. The vet said to watch if any of her incisors drop in the next few weeks. If they do, then the 2 1/2 months is correct. If not, she could be a small-sized 6 month old.

If not for Raven's mange, I would have let her join the brood in Bunny's Place already. After all, nobody objected on the night when she made her way into the Clubhouse. Being as feisty as she is, I am sure she will fit in, somehow. She has also been vaccinated now.

I'm keeping her inside the house now, but yesterday, because I was gone for so many hours, Raven went upstairs and urinated and defecated on our bed...many times over. I've filled the litter-box with cat sand now, hoping she might learn to use it. Cat sand-tracking on the floor would be definitely better than faeces and urine on the bed.

If Raven joins the brood, Tabs will have a playmate too.
And I think Tabs wants to be friends.


Maneki Neko said...

Dearest KY, our deepest condolences to you. I think the emotional rollercoaster made this particularly hard, but as you tell others, Bosco was blessed to have known so much love from you before he left. On a separate note, I notice that you are treating Raven's mange with oil. Why not ivermectin? Is she too young? If so, what is the minimum age at which a cat can tolerate it? Thank you!

chankahyein said...

Thanks, Maneki. Raven's mange was already treated with Revolution spot-on as the vet felt it would be safer than Ivermectin jabs due to her estimated (young) age. Revolution might just take longer, but the vet said it would be safer. I didn't dare take risks and so opted for the safer method. I thought I would complement it with good nutrition and the oil treatment. There is a slight improvement but I think Ivermectin would have been faster. I just didn't dare take the risk. Tiger too came with mange at a young age and the vet advised the same, ie. not to give the Ivermectin jabs. At that time, I did not know about the oil treatment, so he let me rub the Ivermectin externally onto the mangy skin. Tiger healed. Maybe I'll do the Ivermectin after another week if the healing is not going well. Raven is much stronger now, compared with when she first came.

Chen said...

Gosh so much happened when I was away for a few days! Have a good rebirth Bosco! You have been a sweet cat and loving cat.

H said...

Dear Dr Chan,

Our deepest condolences for your lost.

Bosco had a wonderful and the happiest 27 days with you; he kept by your side and gave you so much love and affection that he can give for all his lifetime and in return you gave him the home and so much love and care. I believe that he his 'sign' of a shiny beige butterfly is his way of thanking you for being on his side and keeping him company throughout his final hours.

Tabs is always looking for a playmate maybe now Raven can be hers as Tabs now can have a friend; not being bullied so much...

Keeping you and your brood in our prayers.

chankahyein said...

Thank you, H. Raven has to heal from the mange first before she can join Bunny's Place. Yes, I hope Tabs and Raven can be friends now. Bosco came for many reasons, maybe he came to check me out, then he brought Raven in so that Raven could have the medical treatment she needed and a home. Maybe that was his mission.

Yen Ling said...

Sorry for your lost, my deepest condolences. Reading both the posts, made me cry too :(. I know how it feels, but the good thing was, you were with him all through out, that is comforting to know. HUGS!

Yes, I believe in butterflies too. It is real and not imagination. Rest in Peace, Bosco and you take care, Dr. Chan. HUGS!

H said...

Yes, I believe it is so too.

Bern said...

Am sadden to hear the news about Bosco. Don just told me this morning. We know what it's like to have little furlives that come and go from one's life...In short duration. I have believed that it's meant to be, and that our lives crossed for a reason. Short and sweeeeeeet is how i will remember them by...

Raven is such a reminder of my Butty when he was younger...We LOVE black cats. Feisty! Be at peace...We love you and the brood....From across the miles.

Wong Yoke Mei said...

Last week i brought in a kitten (slightly under 2 months old) to be checked out by my vet. First round of the visit, he clean his ears and also sprayed him with Frontline rub rub rub into his skin/fur. Will that help Raven control the mange?

Peggy Quah said...

So sorry Dr. Chan, just log in 2day as was at medical treatment myself. Hoping to see good new but sad news. Our lives are also like rollercoster some day we feel so blessed but when our little ones goes part of our heart will also go but we got to keep on for those who are still with us. Bosco had a short beatiful life and we had hope it would be longer but we do not call the shots so be strong the broods needs you and we shall sholider on! God bless and keep him well over the Rainbow Bridge. xxx

Mei Kueen said...

I am sorry to hear the passing of Bosco. Rest in peace Bosco. Dr Chan, think of the love you have given to Bosco and i believe he won't want you to be sad too. You have given him a place called home and the love he needed. He would want you to continue what you are doing for the rest. Cheer up!

Joy E. Saga said...

Hi KY,

Am truly sadden and cried in the office this morning. I consoled myself by telling myself that he has done what he is here for and will be rebirthed into a better life.

Here's a big HUG from me and my furkids ... take care of yourself! You've done the best that he could possibly have.


chankahyein said...

I'm not sure if Frontline helps in mange cases. Some websites say it does. Will consult vet - thank you.

chankahyein said...

Thank you, dear friends. Yes, AnimalCare must continue without a day's rest to help the many, many street animals and their caregivers out there. It will continue in loving memory of Bosco and the many street animals who have brought us joy and touched our lives.

Jennifer Leong said...

My deepest condolences for your loss, Dr Chan. I was shocked to read this blog. Please take care. Bosco is in a better place now.

CW Lee said...

We share your grief dear Dr. Even though Bosco is gone, Im sure he knew that you will continue to give your love to many many more "Bosco" still waiting out there; but sometimes, just dont understand what the Universe want from us. You have done so much for the animals and yet (call it superstition) He took away so many of your pets with the letter "B" this year... rather puzzling..